July 17, 2009
Here I was, sitting at my computer whilst waiting on cupcakes to finish baking when I, quite randomly, came across a blog by Bonny. I read her blogs and was impressed with her faithfulness to the Lord, her ability to cope with her husbands death and the ability {and strength} she holds as a fellow single mother.
As I read through her excerpts I couldn't help but stumble upon one regarding Single Parenting. This was not in any way to advocate that single-parenting outshines its dual-parenting counterpart so much as it was a compilation of her thoughts (and perhaps others?) on the Strengths and Positive aspects of the product of a Single-Parent home.
Here I am, a God-fearing single mother who couldn't help but feel a sense of "atta girl!" as I read. I hope you find the same pleasures I did
Here's a few thoughts....
Children raised in a single parent home often have to participate more in housekeeping. They learn how to do laundry, clean toilets, cook, shop, and mow the yard. My kids love to clean toilets. They have learned that if one cleans toilets while the other washes dishes or folds laundry the toilet cleaner finishes faster- which is well worth the yuck factor of toilet scrubbing. Thus, they are able to care for themselves when they leave home.
They learn how to entertain themselves. If my kids tell me that they are bored, I simply say, "Gee, I'm sorry. Do you want me to find you something to do?" They rarely tell me they are bored. They do not look to me to keep them entertained and happy. They do look to me for love and they get lots of that!
They cannot divide and conquer. My kids cannot play me against myself. Instead, they learn to negotiate one to one. Sometimes I encourage this and sometimes I let them know that something is nonnegotiable.
They learn independence. My children see through me that they can do what needs to be done. There is great value in the example of interaction in a healthy marriage. There is also great value in seeing someone overcome obstacles alone.
They learn the basics of survival in our society. My kids no longer have the option of staying at home with Daddy when I get the oil changed, pump gas, go to the bank, or shop. Since they are with me I talk to them about what I am doing. It helps them feel involved, which puts a stop to whining, and they learn about car maintenance, financial planning, keeping accounts, and shopping for value. It is easier to do these things without them, but when they are at school I am at work, so they go with me.
They learn time management. I can't do everything that two people do. I might tell them, "We need to do these five things, but there is probably only time for two or three. Which do you think are the most important things to do?"
Here she is...http://www.myservantsong.com/2009/03/single-mom.html